Squeeky Clean

So I'm in the *shower, and I don't like this shower spray nonsense. You know, when the shower head has a delicate array of sprays sprinkling out and you can barely feel anything? Oh no... I can't do that. I need a thick strong stream beating down on me. Aw yeah, it's so relaxing! It can massage all stress down the drain along with the oil, sweat and dirt the day has brought.

Well, here's the thing... when my shower head is adjusted to this setting, it actually has 3 different slots to come out of. So, the water will be shooting out hard for a few minutes, and then without warning water comes out of a different part of the shower head, many times taking you by surprise. Tonight was no exception my friend. So I'm lathering up my leg while the piercing shot of water strikes my lower back. When, without warning, Beeeeyoooom! A water shot strikes me right in the back! It COMPLETELY took me off guard inas much that I let out a little shriek, to only laugh at myself seconds later. Who does that? It then reminded me of a similar shower experience... oh yeah, you'll hear it. I know you're stoked too!

My old apartment had awesome water pressure. Oh mann, it was very nice! However, my bathroom sucked! We lived in the basement of a house and the bathroom was very small. It was more of a closet... a water closet... if you will. Well, the fan was connected to the light switch, so if you wanted light... you had to take the fan too. Being in the basement, there was also no window to let some kind of light in. This fan proposed a problem as it was right about the shower and the pressure of the water would suck the shower curtain INTO the shower. Leaving no room to bathe and often soaking the floor with water. So annoying! Being poor college students, Carrie and I rigged up a pole that we could move in and out of place that would keep the curtain somewhat at bay as to not stick to our skin as we showered in this tiny 1 man stand in shower. By the way.... that has nothing to do with the story... it just sucked ass and was so annoying to deal with. Keep following, you'll like where this story goes. So I'm showering away one day and I have the thick stream of water pounding down on me. Mmmm, that's nice. Although... the spray was just a little bit off. I reach up to the head and try to adjust it to a more convenient spot. The head was hard to move, so I push just a little more force on it... when BAM! The water pressure was so strong it knocked our cheap plastic shower head off and hit me SQUARE BETWEEN THE EYES. THE EYES! The most vulnerable of all Chelsey parts! That hurt like one motha'! I quickly punched the knob as now the pressure was shooting out an incredible force upon me (Think Kramer with his elephant shower head in Seinfeld). As I stand underneath the whirling fan trying to suck my shower curtain into it, I was afraid to open my eyes. I just knew I would see striking red blood dripping and running down into the drain. Through the stinging, I managed to get my eyes open. Luckily there was no blood. I did however see the broken shower head on the floor, and that straight up pissed me off. Damn shower and it's water pressure!

One more, shower story for the peeps. I love how great ideas can come from shower time. The head is cleared, the body is relaxed, aromatherapy overtakes the senses... what a spendid time to get ideas! I full on had a KILLER idea the other day. Oh mann, it's so good! If only I had the time to carry it through, for it is an idea that ignites my hatred, lights my fire, magnifies my passions and of course makes me smile! Oh, it's a glorious idea! I should make time for it, as it's ingenious... well... at least I think so.

Moral? I don't know. Funny, crappy, and great things can all happen in the shower. But whatever the case, please take one as to not stink out your fellow patrons. It's greatly appreciated.



*Note- Start every post this way, because how cool is that?